This is the first time I am going to do this, but since I just watched Gone Baby Gone right before The Town and they are both directed Ben Affleck, I am going to do a comparison of the both of them.
Gone Baby Gone
Actors: Casey Affleck, Michelle Monaghan, Morgan Freeman, Ed Harris
The Town
Actors: Ben Affleck, Rebecca Hall, Jon Hamm, Jermey Renner, Blake Lively
Intrigue: Well both of them are written by Affleck, who already co-wrote Good WIll Hunting, so these two had a good foundation. I like Casey Affleck as an actor a little bit more than Ben so there is a little edge there. Gone Baby Gone also has a much more quality cast over The Town, even though Hamm, Renner, and Hall look to be breakout stars in the next few years. Last but not least, the plots in both of these are awesome but the trailer for The Town had me more anticipated than Gone Baby Gone. Overall, the both of them had great intrigue, but Gone Baby Gone edges out The Town with a score of 14 to 13
Action: Both of these films are known for being crime dramas, but one had way more action in it. The Town was simply strung together using mostly action while Gone Baby Gone intertwined itself with plot twists. The action in The Town kept you on your seat wondering what was going to happen, Affleck did a great job of taking the predictably out of this movie and it made you think what is he going to do in the climax of all the action. The Town receives the full 15 and Gone Baby Gone gets a 14.
Summation: Both of these movies had great endings, but the best part of the both of them were the possibilities that could have happened in them. A movie is pure genius if at the point where the climax is about to reach its peak and you have to question in your mind what is the protagonist going to do next. Gone Baby Gone gave the viewer a moral question that had me questioning what I would do. And the Town just had a lot of different paths that Ben Affleck could have went down. The full 20 points for GBG and 18 for The Town. 2 points deduction for The Town because they preach that they are all family in Charleston, but there is a very specific point in the movie where a backstabbing occurs.
Acting: The acting in both of them are great. The more well known actors are in GBG, but the Town has some up and comers. There was no single downfall in GBG and everything seemed perfect. At first, I thought Renner was a little sloppy in the Town, but then I thought to myself that he was supposed to be a wild card throughout the whole movie. He was supposed to be sloppy so we would not know what he would do next. Full 20 for GBG and 18 for The Town. They lost by two only because Ed Harris was amazing as always and Morgan Freeman’s character surprised the heck out of me.
Directing: 20 points for both movies. I am really starting to like Affleck directing movies. These two were amazing, but i would like to see if he could make a movie outside of Boston.
Special Effects: 5 points for both, no flaws here.
Misc.: For GBG, I am giving it a full 10 for the moral question raised at the end, and I am glad that they showed how the situation was handled afterward as well. For The Town, a full 10 here for the sweet masks they have, the ones in the introduction were sweet, I hope someone else notices them and starts a movie off of them. The movie could be called the guys with the sweet masks or something along those lines.
Final: GBG received a 98!!! Sound the alarm, thats a new high score!!! “What does “high score” mean? New high score, is that bad? What does that mean? Did I break it” that line is courtesy of Grandma’s Boy. GBG is a quality movie in every aspect, it brings you in early and it never lets you go. I advise everyone to see this movie, it is a must-see. The Town received a 94. Hopefully since i did a comparison between the two you do not think lesser of The Town because it did not score as high as GBG. The Town is still a very good film and it deserves to be seen by everyone as well.
Machete
Directors: Robert Rodriguez and Ethan Maniquis
Actors: Danny Trejo, Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Steven Seagal, Michelle Rodriguez, and plenty more!
Intrigue: When i first heard that Robert Rodriguez was directing an action movie involving the word Machete in the title, I stood there and laughed to myself saying, “Wow, this movie is going to be insanely over the top, but I am still going to love it.” On top of him directing, the cast ensemble is a little bit out of left field. Danny Trejo never is the star, De Niro not the main star, further more, he plays the bad guy, Alba is either hit or miss in movies, errr…mainly hit in Sin City and miss in anything else, Seagal, well i did not know he still acted, and Lindsey Lohan is herself in the movie!!!! I am giving this movie a solid 13 points, the minuses coming from Lohan and the uncertainties the cast brought to the table (Trejo’s big role, Alba being the main lady, and De Niro playing the bad guy)
Action: Have you ever seen Rodriguez’s films? Let’s just say that this film was supposed to have action even in the slow scenes, and classic Rodriguez did not disappoint. Starting from the opening scene the action was completely over the top and awesome. The number of amazing action scenes in this movie is incredible, second to Clive Owen’s Shoot ‘Em Up, but to Machete’s defense, this actually had a better plot. Carrying on though, the fact that Trejo kills numerous people with a machete is deserving of the full 15 points here, everything else is just an added bonus.
Summation: A pretty basic movie ending to an action movie, protagonist is involved in big fight scene, bad guys are confronted and defeated, protagonist gets girl. 11 points here for the average summation, the one extra is for how the exit happened, it was kind of hawt if you know what I mean.
Acting: Oh gosh, the acting in this movie was horrid and that is predictable, but at least in Shoot ‘Em Up Owen is a good actor. Anyways Trejo, Alba, Michelle Rod, Seagal, and numerous others (including one of the Spy Kids) are all terrible actors. De Niro saved some grace along with Cheech Martin, who plays Trejo’s brother and priest. 9 points here for the terrible acting.
Directing: This was not his best work, but it was not his worst work. I was entertained the whole movie and at the end of the day I was glad I watched the movie, so I say job well done. 13 points.
Special Effects: The effects here were good, no deductions. 5 points.
Misc.: 10 points. The scoring for this category is based on all the hot girls we get to see naked, including a very hot latina women in the opening credits and Lohan actually surprised me by how good she looks. (quick sidenote-Lohan was in a recent issue of Maxim and she had one of the hottest spreads that i have seen, and I have been getting them for over 7 years now)
Final: 76 points. This was a good film to see. Definitely a man’s movie, not for a date one bit. My room mate actually brought his gf and lets just say he has to go see Going the Distance now for that, and that is not going to be a fair trade off because that movie looks horrid. But if you are ever just bored and want some cheap laughs, this is the perfect movie for you, if you want an oscar movie, well, you are SOL.
Brooklyn’s Finest
Director: Antoine Fuqua
Actors: Don Cheadle, Richard Gere, Ethan Hawke, Wesley Snipes
Intrigue: ZOMG!!!!! Don Cheadle is back! That was my first reaction when hearing about this movie. The only reason why he went off the map was Hotel for Dogs, c’mon now, what was he honestly thinking?! He was forgiven though, he was back in a raw film. But there was just more than Cheadle (who is my favorite actor if you cant tell), there was Richard Gere who has had some good roles (Primal Fear is a very good movie), Wesley Snipes, who has had some good classics, and Ethan Hawke (not a very good actor but makes some good movies, and he looks like my friend Erich D. (http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2042590&id=197105550#!/profile.php?id=197105550). Here is another plus, Fuqua directed Training Day and Shooter. This is a cop movie too, so how can Fuqua go wrong after making the legendary cop movie of Training Day. I am giving this movie 14 points, a deduction for Ethan Hawke.
Action: Lets just say this was a huge flop of action. Cheadle’s parts in this movie seemed to have the only action consistently throughout the movie. Hawke’s action was very family oriented and boring other than the beginning. Gere was an old man for 90 percent of the movie, which was what they were going for, but the ending did not make up for the 90 percent that he bored me. Cheadle and Snipes and some good action parts, but not as much as i would have liked. 7 points for this major disappointment.
Summation: I will say i was surprised by the ending of the movie, and thats a somewhat good thing. I do not really agree with it and i think it could have been much better, but it will have to suffice. 13 points for the surprise and Gere’s ending.
Acting: Cheadle did great in this role. This was a perfect role for him. Gere played his role well too. He was supposed to play a boring old man, and that is what he was. Hawke was supposed to be a lovable, retarded, bad cop, and that is what he was. But seriously, i cant respect this role and his facial hair was just plain stupid. Snipes played a decent role, nothing special though. 15 points.
Directing: Forgive me, but what was Fuqua thinking. This movie could have been awesome. But there was no BAM! The plot was very weak and nothing seemed to ever be happening. I would have enjoyed two and half hours of cops footage more. A very small amount of 5 points, and that is just out of respect.
Special Effects: Nothing special here, but i am going to give half the points here because the movie had some very unnecessary dark scenes where it was hard to see what was going on. 2.5 points.
Misc.: God i wish i could say there was some scene that was randomly awesome, but there wasnt. There was a scene that was randomly weird and not needed. That is the sex scene with Gere. There could have easily been a sex scene for five seconds, but this was awkward for the like thirty seconds it lasted and for a good five minutes after the scene was over. No points.
Final: 56.5 points. This movie is a major flop. It could have been awesome, but the story never escalated and it seemed stagnant all up until the last twenty minutes.
He’s Just Not That Into You
Director: Ken Kwapis
Actors: Look up at the poster, too many to post
Intrigue: I am going to start this section off with their headliner quote in the trailer, said by Drew Berrymore, “I had this guy leave me a voicemail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies.”…First of all, no one uses the word Portal unless you play the game, in which you could be considered a geek, or you, are in fact, a big geek. So the fact that this was the headliner made me a little disinterested. Also, im not a fan of Berrymore and Ben Affleck, so the level of intrigue to start it was very low. But to heighten my level was the presence of Kevin Connolly, E off of Entourage-my favorite show out right now. But on with the show, this is just like crash, love actually, babel, and burn after reading-everyone and everything tends to relate to something, and in all honesty, it could be love actually’s illegitimate lovechild they are so closely related. But back to the movie, one of the first scenes was with Affleck and Jennifer Aniston, which surprised the shit out of me but they played two great parts. And to add to their great acting, i really liked everyone’s acting in this movie, even Berrymore which i have an unknown hatred for, but that doesnt make up for the bad plot and unoriginality. The very basic part of this is the relationships between guys and girls, in all forms of love, hence love actually. Now to the movie’s defense they never say all forms of love, but that is basically what it is. So to end this lengthy section, i will award a measly 6 points.
Action: The film had its action in forms of all relationships= the good, the bad, and the ugly. There is just the basic action of a chick flick, but it does tend to show the craziness of how women process things. 8 points, i added a little for some women jokes.
Summation: Very predictable ending with all characters. Even a monkey could have put two and two together. 10 points.
Acting: Ah finally. The resurrection of this film. I liked everyone in this movie. To all the big names to the little roles played by people you know the face of but not the name of, including the random mexican worker, Luis Guzman- one of the cooks in waiting. Also the dad of Aniston played a part that reminded me of my dad and all dads in general. So kudos for everyone here. Some extra side points here. I have a new found crush on Jennifer Connelly. After watching a beautiful mind and this, i want to see every movie of hers. Also, i never thought Scarlett Johansson was very attractive, but after this i could see where people are coming from, very nice scenes of her in this movie. 20 points here.
Directing: Kwapis had no originality at all. When you do a movie like crash and love actually, a lot of stuff could be added to give it that little extra flavor. But this movie is like a drive thru, reliable but you know what you are going to get and nothing extra. Also, with a pretty decent well known cast, he chooses the one random actor to be the narrator. Should have pulled a Tarantino and chose Samuel L. Jackson. 6 points here for having Connelly and Johansson in sexy outfits in one scene.
Special Effects: This isnt really special effects, but its props. The headline quote talks about Blackberry’s and it gets multiple references in the movie, but in the scenes where you see phones, they are just the phones that you can get with a free upgrade, like the old flip razor phones. But i will give them 1 point here for the ad of a Mac desktop, and Justin Long, who is in the mac commercials.
Misc.: For my misc. category, i will talk about one specific quote. Jennifer Connelly is shopping with her husband, Bradley Cooper-The hangover and Wedding Crashers, about what type of floor they should have, either real wood, or plastic wood. She couldnt tell the difference but said to choose real wood even thought it was more expensive, and why did she say that?!?! She said she thought that the fake wood was imitating the real wood(i would have put the actual quote up here but i couldnt find it on the interwebz). Now why did i go into this in depth, because of this, (i got this from a blog about curb your enthusiasm, the set up of the paragraph is that larry david is accused of leaving a ring from a cup on a coffee table)
“After all of that, Larry got what he wanted! Cheryl showed up at his door, having been replaced in the reunion by Virginia. And Cheryl made it clear to Larry that she was ready to get back together and then, just as they were about to kiss and send the season off into its well-deserved send-off, Larry noticed that Cheryl had left a wet cup of iced coffee on his new table, leaving a ring. And he interrupted his perfect romantic moment for a tirade on the sanctity of wood, ending the season. It was a great moment, because on the TV, in the “Seinfeld” reunion, the characters were getting the happy and retrospective finale that David and Jerry Seinfeld denied fans 11 years ago. So David got to play with the idea that viewers demand satisfying closure even from a show that abhorred that sort of convention at its very core. In the narrative “Seinfeld” world, George was allowed the happy ending desired by viewers, the contentment and return to an imagined former marriage. Meanwhile, in the “real” “Curb Your Enthusiasm” world, George’s alter ego had the chance for a similar ride-off-into-the-sunset moment and he reacted exactly the way the character of George would have reacted through nine seasons of “Seinfeld.” It was satisfyingly unsatisfying on every level.And all because of a ring on a coffee table, introducing what’s sure to be a hipster catchphrase for at least a few days: Do you respect wood?”
When i heard the quote it made me think of the finale for Curb Your Enthusiasm and i instantly loved that quote. 10 points here lol. Also, sorry for the absurd length of these sections, i havent done one of these in awhile.
Final: 61 points. And to think this may be a little flawed because i am the one to adore chick flicks, but i was really disappointed in this film, but hey, when compared to Love Actually, nothing can come close.
Things We Lost in the Fire
Director: Susanne Bier
Actors: Halle Berry, Benicio Del Torro, David Duchovny
Intrigue: I have never heard of this movie at all, and the only reason why i had it was because the people on imdb said it was a good movie. But after looking at the actors i was initially weirded out. Halle Berry is a great, but i would never imagine her working with Duchovny, yet even Del Torro. But to my suprise it worked. This movie catches and brings you in on an emotional level and never leaves you hanging. Im giving 12 points because i dont really like drug movies but this one was amazing.
Action: The only real action other than the drugs is Duchovny, Berry’s husband, dieing, and dont worry i didnt spoil anything because the movie starts off with his funeral. Onwards to the drugs, Del Torro plays a druggie who is Duchovny’s best friend, that moves into Berry’s household after the funeral. Then that is where the emotional action takes you on a roller coaster. 14 points here.
Summation: A great ending to a damn good movie, and it will not disappoint. 18 points.
Acting: 20 points. No question about it. First, Berry plays a bitchy suburban housewife who makes you feel both sympathy for her and also hate her at the very same time. Del Torro plays the druggy which you have to dislike because of his addiction but he fights through it and plays an amazing step in dad. Last but not least, John Carrol Lynch, who is the weird brother of Drew Carey in his show, had an amazing part that helped the movie go right along. A very underrated role in this movie but i think he played the best role out everyone.
Directing: This was Bier’s first American film, and she did pretty well. She did wonders of how to portray Berry’s character. And making Del Torro look like the better parent than Berry was a nice little topping of adding depth to both characters. 15 points.
Special Effects: None here so i cant take any away. 5 points.
Misc.: 10 here, for both adding the scene of how Duchovny died and the tripping of Del Torro after taking drugs.
Final: 94 points. Just a great movie that will keep you in your seats for the whole movie. Could be a date movie, but be prepared for an in depth conversation afterwards, and if you fail in those situations, well, dating is not for you then.
Over Her Dead Body
Directors: Jeff Lowell
Actors: Eva Longoria Parker, Paul Rudd, Lake Bell, Jason Biggs
Intrigue: I am not going to lie, the only reason i downloaded and watched this movie was because of Eva Longoria, and i regret this decision. But to my surprise, Paul Rudd was in the movie, but to cancel him out was Jason Biggs, infamous for his American Pie movies. But on to the movie, the movie was about Rudd whose wife, Longoria, died on their wedding day, and she came back to haunt his next girlfriend. Not a really strong plot and just really not an intriguing movie overall. 5 points here just because of the lovely Longoria.
Action: There is hardly any action in this movie, there is some comedy thanks to Rudd, but other than that, its a catfight between Lake Bell and Longoria. 5 points here as well, just because of Rudd and his comedy.
Summation: 6 points. Very basic ending. Just really not a great movie. There was a surprise about halfway through but still didnt make it a great, or even a good movie.
Acting: Paul Rudd was the only shiny spot in this production. Bell was alright, but nothing too special. And Longoria didnt have much to do in this production. 7 points here, 5 for Rudd and 1.5 for Bell and .5 for the looks of Longoria.
Directing: This was Jeff Lowell’s first movie as a director. He has written a couple of films like John Tucker Must Die, and Hotel Dogs. Basically, i dont think either are for him. JTMD was an alright film, but thats because of the hotness of all the girls. I really didnt like anything in this film and to not showcase Longoria is a crime in my book. 3 points.
Special Effects: 5 points. Sad to say this but there was some good effects here.
Misc.: That had enough brains to cast Longoria, but not enough to show much of her. 4 points.
FInal: 35 points. Just not a great movie, guys do not watch at all. This is strictly a chick flick movie, but a not a very good one. The only reason to watch this is to watch it for Rudd. He is going to be a great actor when he decides to choose better roles.
Burn After Reading
Directors: Joel and Ethan Coen
Actors: George Clooney, Frances McDormand, Brad Pitt, John Malkovich, and Tilda Swinton
Intrigue: Well, this movie had me intrigued before i even started watching it. I mean, you have the Coen brothers, Clooney, and Pitt on one hand. Then to have Malkovich, who has had numerous roles since the late seventies, McDormand who has had just as many roles since the early eighties, and Swinton has been acting since the late eighties and again, has had a lot of roles. But back to the actual movie, this action comedy is one of those movies where everything that happens is somewhat related to another scene that seems like polar opposites. A very orignal movie that keeps you entertained throughout most of the movie. But there were some dry spots were i thought the movie lagged and i felt like the all star cast didnt click well enough. 10 points, but that is only because of the all star class.
Action: This movie was supposed to be an action comedy, but the only comedy part to me was by Brad Pitt. The movie was basically just spurred by affairs going on by the majority of the casts, and then as i said spurts of laughter caused by Brad Pitt’s doofus character (a role i hope he never plays again.) 10 points here as well, although i was entertained throughout most of the movie, that is because i kept on thinking something big was going to happen the very next scene, and it really never happened til the end.
Summation: A great ending that was so unpredictable that i bet you would never guess it halfway through. And like all the movies that are related to each other, this one had a good ending like the rest of those, but it aint no crash! 15 points, deduction because of what happened to Pitt.
Acting: The all-star cast did not disappoint. Everyone played their character brilliantly, even the small time cast members. Full 20 points here.
Directing: It kills me to say this, but i truly think this is one of the worst movies the Coens have made. I dont like how they intertwined some parts and wished they didnt try and overdo this movie. 7 points, it may be their worst, but all of their movies are classics, so its not the end of the world.
Special effects: Nothing special here, no points deducted. Full 5.
Misc.: 6 points. I love all of the different characters and how they all piece the puzzle together.
Final: 73 points. This is not a date movie, may i repeat, not a date movie. Its also not even a bro movie either. I would put this in the wild card category, and with that category, you watch at your own risk with the people you are with.
I Love You, Man
Director: John Hamburg
Actors: Paul Rudd, Jason Segal, Rashida Jones
Inrigue: This film is great for all viewers. Its great for the guys because there are a lot of bro out scenes in here, but it is also good for the ladies because its somewhat of a romantic comedy. The main plot for this film was for Rudd to find a best man for his wedding since he has never really had that best male friend. Somewhat original movie, at least they didnt go to the male version of Made of Honor (but im not bashing this movie cuz i still dig my chick flicks!). You will laugh all throughout this movie, whether it being when Rudd goes on Man dates, or when he is bro-ing out with Segal. Im going to give 12 points here. Its a very good comedy that keeps you laughing but its not one of the classics that you can talk about for years after (like old school, animal house, and anchorman).
Action: For a movie that has the original TV Hulk, Lou Ferrigno, you do not see any fighting or guys ripping their shirts. But you get see one of the current SNL stars, Andy Samberg try and make gay guys out of straight guys, Jason Segal be out of the blue and crazy unlike his character in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and the quirky jokes of Rudd. Not a bad combination at all. 13 points.
Summation: The downfall of this movie would probably have to be the ending to me. Very funny parts all throughout the movie but in the end it decides to end in the chick flickish side of a romantic comedy. Im giving 13 points here for a still funny but less than expected ending.
Acting: Paul Rudd is becoming one of the leading men in the comedy business. Currently he has four films either coming out soon or still in the production stages. Who would have ever thought he would turn big after his first big role in Clueless? Anyways Rudd has a strong performance that keeps you entertained when the enhancers are not on the screen. Segal is the main guy that creates the most laughter, but Samberg has some good parts as well as officer dangle from Reno 911. This was Jones’s first big acting role in film but she is well known as Karen from the office. And she did quite well and will probably be in plently of more movies after this. Jaimie Pressly is also in this and she looks great as usual. 18 points here for a great overall performance by all the cast members.
Directing: Hamburg has one big film done before this and that was Along Came Polly, I would like to say that this was a huge improvement from that film although it was still quite funny. There is nothing really to critique here but there is nothing really to applaud here. I will give 12 points just because it was way better than his first film.
Special Effects: 4 points, a 1 point deduction for the funny but still horrible billboards of Rudd.
Misc.: 8 points. I like the eccentric Segal just a little bit better than the awkward Segal. I also loved the man cave and think every man needs one!
Final: 80 points. A good overall film that anyone can enjoy. It is good for all teenagers and above. And im just doing a little insight here, i think that Rudd and Segal are going to become some of the main guys in all comedies, just right behind Seth Rogen.
